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SM games in a studio Breasts torture and spanking Around the same time, my partner shared with me about his need for discipline. He believed he had a need for real discipline and spankings also.
Things like missing out on being taught life skills, having no boundaries, and not being held accountable for less than stellar choices, had left him with a great deal of unmet needs, insecurity, and lack of safety.
Had my children not been of the age where they were able to initiate and have multiple conversations over several months about the issues related to discipline, or weigh the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision on their own, I would have never gone down that road.
As for my husband, he initially thought there might be some level of sexual gratification attached to a spanking. As people are exploring and figuring out who they are, there can be a certain level of romanticizing the desired outcome.
Most people figure out really quickly whether this is kink, sexual, or something else. To me, DD is about so much more than the actual discipline.
The journey to offering discipline both inside and outside my home was one filled with unexpected discoveries. We were surprised to discover our family experienced more emotional stability, connection, and safety.
There was a resolution that helped move us forward and not only facilitate connection, but the release of guilt. I have a great deal of empathy for those who are either just figuring this out about themselves, but also those who know this has been a need and have gone without for so long.
Realizing there were others out there who have these same critical needs going unmet left me feeling compelled to reach out professionally, and see if I could help meet that need.
The ability to provide a safe, consistent space so that people can thrive is something that brings me great joy. I have many friends and colleagues who are Dommes, and I appreciate what they do and the clients they serve— but I am not a dominatrix.
A dominatrix provides services within BDSM that are far more broad than a domestic disciplinarian, where the ultimate goal is pleasure or gratification— even if that is by means of psychological play such as degradation or humiliation, bondage, or a combined infliction of pain by various means that may include, but are not limited to, traditional spanking.
I will not tie you up and humiliate you, and your pleasure in not my concern. My focus is on helping people become the best versions of themselves, like I do for my husband and children.
That includes guidance, firm accountability, and real-spankings when they have been earned. The good news is, there are many amazing BDSM providers here in the Orange County and Los Angeles area who are more than capable of meeting your needs.
If you are struggling with determining whether you are discipline oriented, we can work together to do some exploration and basic reality testing to help you along your journey.
Please note that I am unable to offer references for anyone offering any type of fetish, bondage, or sex-related services.
I love helping people figure out who they are and explore different parts of themselves. That means everyone. Not everyone wants to do more intentional, deeper self reflection and I understand that.
For those clients who are ready to do some processing around behavior, life-patterns, and not-so-good choices, and for those who are looking for a more encompassing Domestic Discipline experience that leads to longer term real-life change, I offer both one-time sessions and a longer term program that accomplishes that.
Anyone can make you cry out as the result of physical pain, but the emotional reaction that comes from connecting your behavior to your consequences is not something that can be manufactured by me.
Though I want you to get the most emotionally out of your session, and I understand that for some crying is important to many people, this is not an experience I can or cannot create for you.
However, if you are concerned that you are not going to get the spanking you need and deserve, I would like to assure you right now that you will never have to worry about that.
Our relationship is built on trust and letting me determine the spanking you need and deserve is part of that trust. The spanking you get would not be effective as intended if you were to have the ability to stop it just because it was unpleasant in the moment.
A long with reality or limit testing for those intending to see me more than once , or using my experience and excellent read of a person who I am spanking, we will quickly have both a spoken and instinctive set of boundaries established for both emotional and physical safety.
For Discovery Sessions, any spanking that happens will be completely optional and will include lots of communication.
However, for those who desire to have more than one session in order to address real life changes, we will eventually move into a consensual non-consent agreement around your discipline.
In my experience, many people who finally seek out disciplinary spankings do so after years and years of thinking about it.
Reality testing is simply that first true disciplinary spanking someone gets to test what they think about it in reality, instead of just imagination.
It includes determining what kind of physical pain limits you have, how you respond to certain implements, and the verbal processing that follows.
Often spanking has been idealized for so long that one needs to come to terms with the reality that a disciplinary spanking is not enjoyable in the moment, even if it remains true that you need them in life.
The length of the spanking you receive can depend on a variety of factors in a given situation. Your input is actually a critical component of how I individually tailor and structure our sessions together, which is why I have a thorough application process.
If role play is a verbal processing method that we can use to work through any emotional blocks you may be experiencing around understanding, exploring, or accepting the part of you that knows it needs discipline, we can discuss this.
Regarding actual spanking scenarios however, I am open to a degree of reality-based role play if it achieves emotional freedom from a real-life past event.
Some people sit with years of lingering guilt from something they did and got away with, either in the past or recently.
In these cases, I am willing to discuss the possibility of a reality-based role play where we revisit that moment in time, and administer the spanking that you should have gotten.
While I am open to talking through any role play issues, fetishizing or sexualizing discipline is not something I do.
Again, there are many other wonderful providers in Orange County who are better suited to bring that to life for you. While I love a good old fashioned hand spanking and definitely have my favorite paddle, I have several implements with which I administer discipline with.
Some clients have implements that are sentimental favorites, while others have aversions to certain implements rooted in deep trauma.
Alternative and complementary punishments can include but are not limited to :. Reflective consequences, mouth soaping, assigned chores with a restorative focus, corner time, etc.
I do not offer in-call discipline sessions. I find that a home, office, or other location you feel is safe and secure is the best place to administer discipline.
If you have concerns about privacy, noise, or confidentiality, we can work around those to find solutions and will discuss that in our initial meeting.
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